Impulsive Living Arrangements

Michael and I thus far in our marriage have been pretty impulsive about where we are living.

When we said 'yes' to our first apartment in New Ulm, it was the only one we visited. That living arrangement ended in giving our notice and two weeks later moving across town. I remember being so reluctant to move to the new place. I was convinced it was too much money, I didn't really like it, and I wasn't ready to move.

Similarly, when we moved to Florida there was nothing holding us in Minnesota, so when I got the job offer, we left (again two weeks, but this time across the country and with a 6 month old.) The feeling laying in bed, the first night in our new apartment in Palm Coast, I felt it was so surreal. The apartment complex is beautiful, the amenities are very nice and it seemed so strange that Michael and I were calling this place home.

Home as it is, I have never had the desire to make it homey.

I have always been holding out for a house. I didn't make things homey in New Ulm, I wasn't going to make them homey here if we were just going to move again. (There is probably more laziness in that statement than I'd like to admit.) I think maybe knowing how hard my mom worked to make things homey for us, I wasn't willing to put that effort in, just to move. Moving from the house where I grew up was hard for me because of all she had done.

I also believe because Michael and I married so young, I wasn't sure how to take care of a home when I wasn't really sure how to take care of myself yet.

How things have changed since moving here. Two years has changed us so much, not only our living, working arrangements, but also having Joshua and now being pregnant again. We have been hard on our poor apartment and somehow with baby on the way we seem to have outgrown it.

Now we are looking at homes. It is a little bit... terrifying. The responsibilities have me a bit overwhelmed. It's like we'll need to be 'grow-ups'. And purchasing a home here is settling down for real. I don't really see us going anywhere, but I do have some anxiety about settling 'permanently'. Despite all my fears, excitement is mounting. I'm doing my best to stay calm and level-headed, but I am in love with the idea of having a house for my family.

God promises to provide, but not to put him to the test. He certainly has been with us and blessed us wherever we have been, and wherever we end up living he will be there with us again.